How to Find Happiness and Contentment on Your Own Terms

What Does Happiness Really Mean? How to Define Contentment on Your Own Terms

Happiness. What does it really mean to you?

For many of us, it’s all too easy to feel the lack of it.

We say things like:
“If my life was like hers, I’d be happy too.”
“When I lose 10 pounds, I’ll be happy.”
“When I finally land that dream client…”

Sound familiar?

We tend to place our happiness just out of reach, tying it to future events or outside circumstances. But here’s what I’ve learned: we often have more control over our happiness than we think.

The Chase That Never Ends

A recent journal prompt asked me to write down the top four values I hold most dear. That exercise got me thinking deeply about one in particular: happiness and contentment.

Why was this so high on my list?

Because for most of my life, I was always chasing “the thing.” Maybe it was health, wealth, validation, a particular feeling, or even a number on the scale. But whatever it was, it always seemed to be just around the corner.

And I know I’m not alone in that.

We’re constantly striving. But at what cost?

Redefining the Pursuit

My mindset has shifted. I still have goals and dreams, but I’m now mindful of what I might be sacrificing to achieve them. As I mentioned in my blog post about health and wellness, I used to separate my work and personal life, as if they were two entirely different lanes. Spoiler alert: they’re not.

That disconnection came at a cost—my health, my time, my joy.

No one forced those expectations on me. I put them there myself, like so many of us do. I’m a hard driver, a perfectionist. But over the years, I’ve learned something valuable: you can’t pour from an empty cup, and sometimes “good enough” is more than enough.

Happiness Looks Different for Everyone

Today, happiness and contentment are at the top of my priority list.

I’ve realized I don’t need the best of everything to be happy. What matters more is living in a way that feels aligned with who I am—spending time with people I love, having the freedom to take a mid-day gym class, or simply sitting on my deck on a summer day.

That’s my version of happiness. Yours might be totally different—and that’s the whole point.

There’s no one-size-fits-all version of happiness. We each need to define it for ourselves. Stop playing the comparison game—it’s not only unhelpful, it’s based on someone else’s version of a dream.

So…What Is Happiness?

Let’s break it down for a second:

• Happiness: the state of being happy
• Happy: feeling or showing pleasure or contentment
• Contentment: a state of happiness or satisfaction

See how it’s kind of a circle?

You have to define these feelings for yourself. What brings peace and joy to you might not make sense to someone else—and that’s okay. Your version is enough.

Practical Ways to Define and Cultivate Your Happiness

Here are a few practices I’ve found helpful for discovering happiness on your own terms:

1. Define what happiness means to you.
Try journaling over a few days or weeks. What patterns or recurring desires do you see?

2. Focus on the present.
Happiness isn’t in the past or future—it’s right here, right now. Mindfulness or meditation can help you stay present.

3. Build positive relationships.
Strong, supportive relationships matter more than we sometimes admit. Nurture them intentionally.

4. Pursue your passions.
Whether it’s painting, baking, traveling, or building a business—make time for what lights you up.

5. Practice gratitude.
Gratitude shifts perspective. Try writing down three things you’re grateful for each day—you’ll start noticing them everywhere.

6. Take care of yourself.
Physical, mental, and emotional health all matter. Prioritize rest, movement, and nourishment.

7. Set meaningful goals.
Goals give us purpose. Make them realistic, track your progress, and celebrate the small wins along the way.

The Journey, Not the Destination

Happiness and contentment aren’t something you arrive at—they’re something you build, step by step.

It takes intention. It takes practice. But the power is in your hands.

So if you’re waiting for someone or something else to “make you happy,” this is your reminder: you’ve had the power all along.

What does happiness look like for you right now?

I’d love to hear your thoughts—feel free to comment below or reach out directly.

And if this resonated with you, I invite you to stick around. My mission is to help you build a business and a life that feels just as good as it looks!

You might also like…

• Practical Advice for Balancing Business and Family
• Business Vulnerabilty: A Peek Behind the Curtain
• Finding the Time to Live Your Dream Life

Deb Mitzel is Your 17hats Guide—an experienced Small Business Operations Consultant and Coach, as well as a 17hats Implementation Specialist. With a passion for empowering small business owners, Deb specializes in helping clients reclaim their time so they can focus on building businesses that support their personal and professional dreams. Deb believes in creating an Integrated Life—a harmony where your business and personal life work together to serve you best. She knows that with the right systems, strategies, and a little guidance, you can build a business that is a blessing, not a burden. If you’re ready to simplify your processes and maximize your impact with 17hats or other tailored strategies, Deb offers a Free Discovery Call to explore how she can help. Click below to schedule your call and take the first step toward turning your vision into reality.

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